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    A young Englishman came to Washington and devoted his days and nights to an earnest endeavor to drink all the Scotch whiskey there was. He couldn't do it, and presently went to a doctor, complaining of a disordered stomach.

    "Quit drinking!" ordered the doctor.

    "But, my dear sir, I cawn't. I get so thirsty."

    "Well," said the doctor, "whenever you are thirsty eat an apple instead of taking a drink."

    The Englishman paid his fee and left. He met a friend to whom he told his experience.

    "Bally rot!" he protested. "Fawncy eating forty apples a day!"

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