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None At All

    Sandy had gone to the station to see his cousin off.

    "Mac," he said, "ye micht like to leave me a bob or twa tae drink ye a safe journey."

    "Mon, I canna," was the reply. "A' my spare cash I gie tae my auld mither."

    "That's strange! Your mither said you niver gave her anything!"

    "Well, if I dinna gie my auld mither anything, what sort of chance d'ye think you've got?"

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