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    A tourist in the mountains of Tennessee once had dinner with a querulous old mountaineer who yarned about hard times for fifteen minutes at a stretch.

    "Why, man," said the tourist, "you ought to be able to make lots of money shipping green corn to the northern market."

    "Yes, I otter," was the sullen reply.

    "You have the land, I suppose, and can get the seed."

    "Yes, I guess so."

    "Then why don't you go into the speculation?"

    "No use, stranger," sadly replied the cracker, "the old woman is too lazy to do the plowin' and plantin'."

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